Question 1

Conan, you are a remarkable individual. What are your hobbies?

Accepted Answer

Well, as mentioned on a previous page, I'm very much into levitating and have spent tens of thousands of dollars on attending levitation retreats the world over. My personal best is 11cm but I can only maintain that for considerably less than a second.

I also spend a lot of time mildly disliking the family dog Charlie – an overpriced groodle.

Question 2

You are very charismatic. Is that something you were born with or have you cultivated it over the years?

Accepted Answer

A little of both I guess. But mostly I was born with it, and I don't think it's possible to imitate, though by all means give it a go.

Question 3

Conan, your writing style is very fresh and original. How did you develop it?

Accepted Answer

Not ChatGPT if that's what you're insinuating!

Question 4

I love your name. How do you pronounce it?

Accepted Answer

Conan is an Irish name and it's pronounced Coe-nun. Emphasis on the first syllable.

Elphicke is an old Saxon name that pre-dates the Norman invasion, for what that's worth (i.e. nothing). It's pronounced Elfik, and I think it means 'little man', which is absurd because I'm an overweight six-footer. Elpick is not how to pronounce it; nor is Elficky. There are only a handful of Elphickes spelled that way in the world but the relevant authorities refuse to list us as Critically Endangered on the basis that we are not a separate species. I beg to differ, at least in my case.

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Frequently asked questions

Conan, you are a remarkable individual. What are your hobbies?

You are very charismatic. Is that something you were born with or have you cultivated it over the years?

Conan, your writing style is very fresh and original. How did you develop it?

I love your name. How do you pronounce it?